Question by Strudel: I feel completely trapped in my marriage. What to do?
I met my now husband 5 years ago when I was 18 and we’ve been married for almost 4 years now. Our relationship has always been rocky. He has always been irresponsible with money which has been the cause for a lot of our early fights because we don’t have a lot of money and he smokes and smokes weed and it gets expensive. I fell out of love with him when I was pregnant with our first baby because he was terrible to me. He would always yell at me and call me names, leave me at home while he partied with his friends, and told me I was unattractive because of the weight I gained. Somehow he talked me into moving across the country to New York where his family is from. I’ve been here for 2 years now and it’s not bad, but our relationship is. I feel like his roommate. I don’t feel close to him at all. He doesn’t get so angry anymore, but he still smokes and smokes pot. I wish he would spend less money on himself and more on the kids and I. I need things too, but if he spends all the extra money on his stuff then I’m not going to spend the last of our money on what I want. I’m in college now and he works. He gets a car from work, but I ride the bus to school because school is about 8 miles away. It’s not a big deal, but I want to get a car of my own so I can go other places to run errands or take my kids to the doctors or whatever. He doesn’t want me to get a car because we’ll have to pay for insurance, but I just feel like it’s easy for him to say because he has a car to do whatever and I have to ride the bus with the kids to go anywhere. I’m getting a grant from school and can use it to get a cheap car to get around, but he doesn’t want me to. It’s not because we need the money because he just got a promotion at work and can pay the bills easily. I got a loan from school also and paid up on our bills and paid for several months of rent to help out. I really don’t want to be with him, I am though for the kids, but really I don’t see how I can leave him without dropping out of school to work and with no family support. I feel like he wants me to be trapped so he can have complete control over me. What do you guys think?

Best answer:

Answer by Annie
YOu do have it figured out. Control freak thats him. Get a job, buy a car and move out after you save enough money. You are not his prisoner, he does not own you, remember that. The pot causes people to do stupid things. The fact that he buys it instead of taking care of you and the kids makes it clear he is addicted. Do not raise your children around that, or they will too.

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